Last night I was chatting with my flatmate and he said he hadn’t read the blog post I wrote about our trip to London and that he would read it right then so he wouldn’t forget. I then decided that I do not like watching people read my blog. Especially when I discuss things I wouldn’t say out loud because they are odd to talk about. But this blog is in part a personal record, and in part something for others to read and relate to, or use to understand those around them. So I will talk about these things, and today I’m covering my scar.
I write cover because it’s a way of saying ‘writing about’ that sounds a bit more journalistic. But actually I literally cover my scar all the time. Part of this is because I don’t like others seeing it, and I don’t like to see it myself, but then with it being on my back I have to try hard to see it at all. My mum says that unless people were looking, no one would notice it, but I never agree with her. However the main reason I cover it is psychological. When I’m having a shower or trying clothes on, if I leave my back exposed I can almost feel my scar tingling. Likelihood is that it isn’t at all, but in my head I feel that I must put on a dressing gown or something.
I’ve actually only recently felt able to touch my scar, which is quite an achievement for me. Before I had one of those scrunchie things in the shower so I would use that to apply shower gel etc. (sorry to said flatmate if you’re reading and finding this weird). A note on my shower gel – we love tea tree cream in our house, it’s good for spots and grazes and stuff, and I have a Lemon and Tea Tree shower gel, which I hope is helping my back. It’s the Original Source one if you are wondering and you can buy it here: http://www.boots.com/en/Original-Source-Lemon-Tea-Tree-Shower-Gel-250ml_870296/, also available from supermarkets and Superdrug (and I think the ‘male’ one is in Poundland). Anyway, my scar doesn’t feel too much like a shoelace anymore like it did initially so all is good.
Clothing choices are important in light of this though. I’ve written briefly about this before, and there is a new page on my blog dedicated to this issue (https://afterscoliosis.wordpress.com/clothes). It almost goes without saying that my clothing needs to cover my back, and I prefer things that are more close fitting rather than loose because that leaves my scar slightly more exposed (this makes sense in my head!). To be honest, this is always how I’ve liked to dress so it’s not a massive issue, but it can make dress shopping slightly more complicated. Anything that is low at the back I tend to avoid, but I am ready to experiment with my Summer Ball dress, so all will be revealed with that in just a week’s time!