An open letter to the flat thief

To a certain member of my flat,

I wonder if you have any idea how I felt to find an empty cake tin in the ice drawer. It wasn’t a good feeling. I had been out for the afternoon at a volunteering induction that repeated a lot of information that I already knew. Within the cake tin there had been a chocolate cream pie, yet when I went to the freezer it was not there. But at least you had the decency to leave the empty tin which I then had to wash without enjoying the contents. Of course you didn’t eat the whole thing, that would be far too rude. However, there was a good third there, and I was looking forward to enjoying something that I worked hard to make for myself. I actually offered it around at first, but when people weren’t that interested I stashed it in the freezer so I could enjoy it another time.

This isn’t the first food theft. A bottle of beer, cake decorations and ketchup are also noted as being taken by various people in the flat. In addition it’s not just food that’s missing. A baking tray has disappeared as well as a plethora of forks and spoons. I once had to use a spork to eat my dinner and then a Ben & Jerry’s spade to eat dessert because I had no forks or spoons. The owner of the baking tray had to take someone’s spare one for the remainder of the year.

Maybe you are lacking in food or cutlery. Maybe money is tight and you got peckish before you were able to get the funds to buy your own food or equipment. I’m not saying this isn’t a problem for you. But the solution is not to steal from others. To take someone’s property is one thing, but to do it in a way that is designed for them not to even find out is a new low. My tin was replaced in the freezer as if nothing had happened, as if it’s a normal occurrence to keep empty cake tins somewhere designed to freeze food. The forks gradually disappeared overnight.

The big issue is that if you had asked me I would’ve almost certainly allowed you to borrow my equipment. I have plenty of cutlery (the main reason why I am still able to eat) so if you don’t have enough then it’s no trouble for you to use mine, as long as they’re washed up and put back in the drawer. Even with food, if you said “Oh, I don’t have any bread/milk/cheese etc., can I borrow some?” I would say yes, just don’t use all of it. Chocolate cream pie is a little different, but even then if you asked really nicely to try a bit, I’d let you!

So you ate my food. My nice food that I made myself. And you haven’t even admitted it was you. If you had come up to me and said “Sorry I ate your chocolate cream pie, I was *insert excuse here* but I didn’t mean to”, I would’ve been annoyed but at least you came forward and apologised. Right now you are just a coward, enjoying what is not yours and making everyone else angry.

I’m not expecting an apology anymore, but I’d like you to admit what you’ve done, and return the kitchen equipment too.

And thank the rest of the flat for not repaying you by stealing your stuff.




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