April 2012

Writing the date April 2012 is incredibly weird for me, because it sounds so recent. I have been umming and ahhing about writing this post, but I want to get on with writing this blog!

It was actually the very end of April 2012, and it was coming to the end of year 11. The days I want to tell you about is actually only vaguely related to scoliosis but they were incredibly hard for me on top of everything else. On the last Friday in April (I can’t remember the date) I was in Biology with friends and I was inbetween my best friend and someone else. They decided to mess around poking people with pens, and then my best friend got this red pen out and thought it would be funny to pretend it was a needle and poke me with it. I believe that I have trypanophobia (fear of needles) and to be honest even thinking about them makes me anxious. So I lashed out at her to stop her poking me, which worked, but changed everything – she started the silent treatment.

The following Monday she basically told me, in no uncertain terms, that she didn’t want to be friends with me. This set off almost as much crying as when I got told I’d need surgery, but it was a shock. The main reason I’m actually talking about it is that one of the reasons that I was given from her about ending the friendship, via the assistant pastoral leader, was that she felt pressured to support me.

This statement caused me to just cry even more. The one thing I didn’t expect was for any of my friends to support me. That sounds a bit mean, but I did not expect anyone to do anything for me, to understand that I was going through a hard time, yes, but nothing else. I understand that not many people knew about my situation, so the few who knew may have felt that no-one else knew, but I just found it so hard to say anything about it to anyone.

Luckily I found some people to hang around with, although they knew nothing about the operation situation. And by the way, me and my friend have pretty much made up now, and she was a great support, surprisingly!

I was going to write about more but I think I’ll leave it there, and post this quick before I regret it. I just feel I really need to write this so that, well I guess you can see how I was feeling and how others were feeling, and how I reacted to things. You can comment if you want, but please be nice.

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